Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
