I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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