oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
