it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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