hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
