he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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