I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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