I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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