Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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