Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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