I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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