Don't make out with my wife yet
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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