she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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