margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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