we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
