Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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