Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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