Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize