Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can I color on your dick again?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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