You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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