Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
