Michael Bay diarrhea
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I want her autograph on my taint
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
