meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
