we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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