Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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