It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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