Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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