Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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