Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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