ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
