I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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