So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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