Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Do vagina's smell?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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