you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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