I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
