I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I've blown a few things in my day
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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