I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
