How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
