the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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