you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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