Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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