Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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