Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
