hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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