last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
