I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
