it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
