He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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