OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
