the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
His hands were made for my vagina.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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