i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
