"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it glows. i had to have it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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