What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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