I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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