i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
