help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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