So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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