sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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