meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
