he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
