I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
