it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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