so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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