I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
