I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
