And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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