Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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